Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Whining & Whinging Tuesday 1: Public Transport

I've decided that Tuesday will be my whining and whinging day on this blog.

There are a number of reasons why I've chosen Tuesday, but mainly because according to my calculations, Tuesday is the furthest point in the week from the weekend. That is not good. Also, there's never anything particularly good on TV on Tuesday nights, and Tuesday is usually the busiest day at work. All these factors generally result in me being a bit crankier on Tuesdays.

Please don't projectile vomit while on public transport. Not cool.
Unless of course you throw up on the guy with the loud music
coming out of his headphones. In that case, vomit away.
So my inaugural entry for Whining and Whinging Tuesday (WWT from now onwards) is about public transport etiquette. You've probably seen it all before in other blogs, opinion pieces, magazine articles, etc., but I need to vent my spleen about this issue.

As a relatively new regular public transport user (I'm ashamed to admit that I mainly drove when I was still in Melbourne), I've noticed some very disturbing behaviour by my fellow commuters. So I thought I'd come up with a list of what NOT to do when on public transport:

1. Don't play music on your mobile phone speakers => Seriously, just because there's no music playing on the bus/train, it doesn't make it an open invitation for you to play your own music. I am not interested in listening to your hard-core satanic rock or gangsta rap or soppy ballads, or whatever it is you're listening to. Please, get headphones.

Which brings me to my next point...

2. If you are wearing headphones, please make sure that the sound doesn't leak out. It's REALLY annoying when you can hear ambient beats coming out of someone else's headphones.

3. If you absolutely must speak on your mobiles while on public transport, please do it discreetly. The rest of the bus/train carriage are not interested in hearing about your grocery list, the footy on the weekend, your ex's new bitchface girlfriend, or what you're planning to wear to that party this weekend.

4. Don't be a seat hog. Give your seat to elderly people, pregnant women, the disabled, or to parents with small children. Common courtesy people, c'mon! Oh, and you should only lie down on train seats if you're dying/dead.

5. Staring => It's creepy and makes you look like a sex offender, don't do it.

6. Don't do your make-up on public transport. Sure, I've put on lipstick or do little touch-ups on the train, but I've seen women pretty much doing their make-up from scratch, or worse, grooming! Flossing teeth or clipping fingernails on the train are not acceptable behaviours. Now, I'm only going to say this once, but some things should be done in the comforts of your own bathroom.

Which brings me to my next point...

7. Don't urinate, vomit, or do anything along those lines on the train. I don't care if you've had a big night.

8. For goodness sake take your rubbish with you when you leave the bus/train/tram. Wedging it between the seats does not constitute proper rubbish disposal.

9. Give way to outgoing passengers before you attempt to enter the bus/train/tram. It's simple physics people. Really.

10. Don't snog or engage in overt public displays of affection. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about public displays of affection, but I really don't need to be exposed to heavy snogging, heavy petting, dry humping, or other such acts while I'm trying to get home on the train. Wait until you get to your destination guys, keep it in your pants.

Now I know I might have come across as a bit of a grumpy nanna, but I'm sure that any decent public transport user would appreciate these common courtesies. In fact, to illustrate my point that the courtesies are universal in nature, I've attached some public transport etiquette posters from around the world.

and the weirdest one of all...

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